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بِسْمِكَ االلّٰهُمَّ اَحْيَا وَبِاسْمِكَ اَمُوْتُ

اَلْحَمْدُ ِللهِ الَّذِىْ اَحْيَانَا بَعْدَمَآ اَمَاتَنَا وَاِلَيْهِ النُّشُوْرُ

اَللّٰهُمَّ اِنّىْ اَعُوْذُبِكَ مِنَ الْخُبُثِ وَالْخَبَآئِثِ

اَلْحَمْدُ ِللهِ كَمَا حَسَّنْتَ خَلْقِىْ فَحَسِّـنْ خُلُقِىْ

بِسْمِ اللهِ تَوَكَّلْتُ عَلَى اللهِ لاَحَوْلَ وَلاَقُوَّةَ اِلاَّ بِالله

اَللّٰهُمَّ اِنِّى اَسْأَلُكَ عِلْمًا نَافِعًا وَرِزْقًا طَيِّبًا وَعَمَلاً مُتَقَبَّلاً

اَشْهَدُ اَنْ لاَّاِلَهَ اِلاَّاللهُ وَحْدَهُ لاَشَرِيْكَ لَهُ وَاَشْهَدُ اَنَّ مُحَمَّدًاعَبْدُهُ وَرَسُوْلُهُ. اَللّٰهُمَّ اجْعَلْنِىْ مِنَ التَّوَّابِيْنَ وَاجْعَلْنِىْ مِنَ الْمُتَطَهِّرِيْنَ، وَجْعَلْنِيْ مِنْ عِبَادِكَ الصَّالِحِيْنَ

اَللّٰهُمَّ بِكَ اَصْبَحْنَا وَبِكَ اَمْسَيْنَا وَبِكَ نَحْيَا وَبِكَ نَمُوْتُ وَاِلَيْكَ النُّشُوْرُ

اَللّٰهُمَّ بِكَ اَمْسَيْنَا وَبِكَ اَصْبَحْنَا وَبِكَ نَحْيَا وَبِكَ نَمُوْتُ وَاِلَيْكَ الْمَصِيْرُ

اللَّهُمَّ رَبَّ هَذِهِ الدَّعْوَةِ التَّامَّةِ، وَالصَّلَاةِ الْقَائِمَةِ، آتِ مُحَمَّداً الْوَسِيلَةَ وَالْفَضِيلَةَ، وَابْعَثْهُ مَقَاماً مَحْمُوداً الَّذِي وَعَدْتَهُ، إَنَّكَ لَا تُخْلِفُ الْمِيعَادَ

اَللّٰهُمَّ بَارِكْ لَنَا فِيْمَا رَزَقْتَنَا وَقِنَا عَذَابَ النَّارِ

اَلْحَمْدُ ِللهِ الَّذِىْ اَطْعَمَنَا وَسَقَانَا وَجَعَلَنَا مُسْلِمِيْنَ

Nasrudin  had  long  intended  to  ask  for  the  hand  of  a  certain young girl. But before he had saved the money for her dowry, his friend told him that he was to wed the beauty. The Mulla was very upset and, thinking for a moment, he said:
“I  congratulate  you,  she  is  indeed  a  prize.  In  fact,  I  was  talking  to  another  man  only  today,  who  admitted  he  was  quite dazzled by her loveliness.”
“Are you saying that she has appeared unveiled in public?” asked his friend.
“I am simply repeating what I have heard,” replied Nasrudin.

Much  shaken,  the  other  man  hurried  to  his  prospective  father-in-law’s house and broke off the engagement.
A few months later, when Nasrudin had finally secured the money for the dowry, he became engaged to the girl. When his friend heard the news, he was very annoyed.

“If you had not implied that the girl was immodest, I would have married her myself!”
“You  are  confused,”  said  Nasrudin  calmly,  “I  never  so  much as hinted that she was immodest.”
“But  you  said  you  had  spoken  to  another  man  who  was  dazzled by her beauty.”
“Didn’t  I  mention  that  the  other  man  was  her  father?”  asked Nasrudin.

Immodest

Nasrudin was once the student of a sage renowned for his understanding  of  human  nature.  One  day,  one  of  the  wise  man’s disciples brought a plate of confectionery to his master as an offering. Noting Nasrudin’s keen interest in the sweets, the wise man warned him to avoid the plate as the food was laced with a deadly poison. He then left the room. Nasrudin, 

enticed by the aroma of honey and almonds, picked up the plate and inadvertently dropped it and the delicacies on the floor.  He  quickly  swept  up  the  broken  china  and  frenziedly  ate up the sweets. The sage returned and started to shout:
“Who dared to move my plate?”
“Alas!” sighed the distraught Nasrudin, clutching his stomach, 
“I  broke  your  valuable  plate  but  I  chose  death  as  my punishment, and ate up all the poison!”


Human Nature

Nasrudin’s oldest son was looking for a wife.
“Which  qualities  are  you  seeking?”  Nasrudin  asked  the  youth.
“Intelligence rather than beauty,” replied the young man.
“If  that  is  the  case,”  said  the  Mulla, “I  have  an  excellent  way of finding you the perfect bride.” He told the youth to follow  and  went  into  town.  When  they  reached  the  main  square, Nasrudin started to cuff his son and shout:

“How dare you do exactly as I say? This is the punishment fit for one who obeys!”
“Leave him alone!” hissed one young woman. “How can you beat him for being a model son?”
“This is surely the woman for me, father,” said Nasrudin’s son.

“Best to have a choice,” replied the Mulla and he led the way to the neighboring town. Here, he acted out exactly the same scene. But this time, a young girl began to cheer him on:

“That’s right! Hit him! Only a fool obeys blindly.”

“Son,” said Nasrudin, with a smile, “I think we have found you an intelligent bride.”